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Monday, 8 July 2013

'I WOULD LIKE TO SEE THE ONE ARMED BLACK CHAP!'


Do you remember the quiz show ‘Catchphrase’?  It was big throughout the 80s & 90s and you can still catch it nowadays courtesy of ‘Challenge TV station’.  The original presenter was Irish comedian Roy Walker who developed a catchphrase of his own as he attempted to help the contestants along.  He used to advise them to “Say what you see!”….In other words don’t try to describe something or someone by going around the houses and beating about the bush, simply “Say what you see!”

Now you’re thinking why the hell is he parping on about some old time now defunct game show?  What does it have to do with anything that matters nowadays?

Well it has a hell of a lot to do with political correctness gone mad in today’s society where people are generally too afraid to just say what they see for fear of causing offence and recently I have experienced this first hand on a couple of occasions, both incidents while at my place of work.  I manage the Moss Bros. Store in Southport so naturally I’m coming into contact with Joe Public all day and every day in my role of providing a service and it gives me a great insight as to how people in general perceive others and the way they interact according to their own beliefs and preconceptions.

Recently my store was visited by a ‘Mystery Shopper’ who I was unaware of at the time but on receiving her report a couple of weeks later I remembered serving her.  The first part of the report spends a little time describing the ambiance of the store and how it felt coming in as a customer.  It then goes on to talk about the level and quality of service provided by the staff and because obviously the mystery shopper does not know the staff by name she has to write a description of each of us in her report and it was this that made me realise that in 2013 Britain people are afraid to ‘say what they see’…

I only have one female staff member so she was easy to find by description.  However on the day in question there were 3 male members of staff including me and we eventually deduced that I was the one described as ‘well built with a shaven head’.  I say eventually deduced because that description could vaguely describe any one of the three guys in that day.

Yes from time to time I could be described as ‘well built’ as my weight does tend to fluctuate Oprah style. Yes I was shaven headed on the day but if she’d visited the store a day earlier or a week later I would not have been.  So I wondered why she chose not to describe me by using some of my more noticeable and permanent physical characteristics?  Characteristics that would have made it easier for me to find myself amongst the various descriptions of the 3 male staff.  Characteristics like the fact that I am black with a not quite perfect left arm that I blatantly can’t use.  Characteristics that if described would have left no one in any doubt as to who she was describing because all my staff are white and possess two complete and functional arms!

In the same week at work I answered the phone to a customer who wanted to ‘speak to the guy who served him the last time he visited the store but he didn’t get his name’.  This is how the conversation went….

“I never got his name but he was a very friendly bloke and smiled a lot”

“Can you describe him? There’s only four of us work here so I should be able to suss out who served you.”

“He’s about 5’8” or 5’9”

“I need a bit more than that I’m afraid”

“He was wearing a blue suit”

“That could be any one of us”

“I think he may be the Manager?”

“Ah! Do you mean the good looking black guy?....silence….followed by more silence….then…

“Are we allowed to say that nowadays?”

“Say what? That I’m good looking (and modest)?”

“What you just said…will it not offend him you calling him that?

“No I won’t be offended if you or any one describes me as ‘black’ because I am black.  Now how can I help you Sir?”

I eventually managed to put the guy at ease but these two incidents made me realise just how hung up some people are when it comes to talking about race, colour, disability, sexuality or anything that they perceive to be anything other than their version of ‘normal’.

Political correctness really has got so many of us running scared to the point where we dare not even state the blindingly obvious for fear of flouting the overbearing correctness laws.  Why on earth would I be offended because someone describes me by my colour?  It’s obvious my arm does not work so if you need to distinguish me from another black guy then I’m more than happy for you to say “the one who can’t use his arm”.

Maybe I’ve convinced you?  Maybe not but I certainly don’t remember as a child reading my story book description of ‘Long John Silver’ as being the one with a beard, earring and pet parrot with blatant disregard to the fact that he was missing a bloody leg!

Many years ago before we got all pompous and stuffy people said it as it was.  A spade was called a spade. Can you imagine if John Merrick was around today?  In the time that he lived he actually made money from being known as The Elephant Man as people paid money to come and look at him.  That would be a tough gig to pull off nowadays…. I can just imagine the box office billboards advertising his show: ‘COME AND SEE THE AMAZING MAN WHO LOOKS A TAD DIFFERENT!!!’…. Nah! Somehow I don’t think it would catch on second time around, do you?
 



     

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