This week one of the main topics of conversation on my favourite radio station has been about the launch of 'Harry Redknapp's Autobiography'. Harry is well known to anyone with the slightest interest in football (even Trudie knows who he is (although that could have something to do with the fact that she has 'the hots' for his son Jamie Redknapp...). Harry is currently the Manager of Queens Park Rangers, previous to that he was Manager of Tottenham Hotspur and was the Nations choice to be England Manager before losing out to the current England Boss Roy Hodgson. Harry is well known for his quotes and anecdotes, many of which are in his book apparently and one of them that I heard while listening the other day nearly had me phoning in to the station because it reminded me of something that happened to me many years ago as the presenters were asking listeners to phone in if they had ever been mistaken for someone else and taken advantage of that mistaken identity?...
In his book Harry tells the story of how for three years some guy who just worked in a bar hoodwinked him into thinking he was a horse racing jockey known as 'Lee Topliss' and for 3 years this guy gave Harry racing tips in exchange for money, match day tickets and autographed football shirts. A whole 3 years this con-man pulled the wool over Harry's eyes before he was sussed out even though by Harry's' own admission most of the tips he got were crap! (Very good con-man or very dozy would be England Manager...you decide..)
Anyway, enough about Harry, let me tell you about my case of mistaken identity:
It was 1991 and I was working in Liverpool for a company called 'Ciro Citterio' who sold Mens Fashions. I was Manager of the store and one day got a visit from a local charitable fundraising organisation who wanted to know if we would like to take part in a big charity fashion show that was being staged in The Adelphi hotel in the city centre? The woman who was to be the main organiser went on to explain that it was to be a huge event with most of the major mens and ladies fashion labels in the City taking part.
I was already sold on the idea, seeing it as a great way of promoting my business while contributing to a good cause when she put the icing on the cake by telling me that she had models standing by and those models were all professional football players from 'Liverpool F.C.' no less!
Liverpool are a massive club worldwide and in the city itself their players achieve 'cult status' just by pulling on the famous red jersey for the Liverpool cause... there was a real buzz around town on the build up to the big night and I remember having to get security guards into my store on the day that the players who were to model our clothes came in to try on some of the planned outfits...we had Glenn Hysen, Bruce Grobbelaar, Barry Venison, Michael Thomas and most famous of all of them John Barnes!! The place was bedlam as word got round that the players were in my shop, it was turning out to be a really exciting experience for me and all my staff.
The big night eventually arrived and it was a complete sell out with every seat in the audience taken. The footballers were an absolute delight to work with and once they got over their initial stage fright (strange when you think they played in front of 40,000 fans every week) they were having a wail of a time. Every time one of them went down the 'runway' the crowd went wild, when John Barnes went down they went even wilder! As a team we really did steal the show and I got a real close up look at how people react when in the presence of fame and very soon I was about to get an even closer look...
The show was over and the players had been sneaked out of a back exit to avoid the inevitable crush at the front of the hotel and I was helping my staff take the rails of clothing out of the building when suddenly I was aware of someone approaching me from behind...As I half turned to see who it was she grabbed my arm and asked..."John! can I have your autograph please!"...She was a middle aged lady, very smartly dressed and I figured she must have been at the fashion show but what I didn't figure was why she wanted my autograph and why was she calling me John!? She held out 2 Liverpool match day programmes and made her request again..."Please John! will you sign these for me? My girls love you to bits!" Then the penny dropped as I realised what was going on, she thought I was John Barnes! She looked back down the corridor and called to the two stunning young ladies who were fast approaching behind her... "Come on girls I've got him!"
Now at this point I could have decided to be like Harry's fake jockey and milk the situation for what it was worth or I could put them straight... Incredibly I found myself opting for the latter...
"I'm sorry but you're mistaken, I'm pretty sure it's not my autograph you're wanting".
"Stop messing around John give us your autograph" said daughter No.1 as she took hold of my other arm.
Daughter No.2 piped up..."Who knows, we might make it worth your while" and she delivered that with a sexy glint in her eyes... The situation was starting to get out of control.
"I think that you think that I'm John Barnes but I'm not! He left about 10 minutes ago through the back exit with the other players". Mum suddenly turned from 'fan' to 'foe'..."You're all the bloody same you big headed, love yourself footballers! D'ya think your too good to mix with the likes of us? I'm going to report you to the club! And off she stormed...but not before she hit me across the side of my head with the programmes!! "Come on girls, don't waste your time with the likes of him!"...Daughter No.1 set off in pursuit of Mum, Daughter No.2 stood there still giving me the 'come to bed eyes' before reluctantly following them.
I watched them leave before turning round to see my staff all bent double in fits of laughter and I had to laugh at myself and what had just taken place. To this day I still wonder if she did actually go to the club and report me and my 'appalling behaviour'? I have this image in my mind of John Barnes turning up for training the next day only to be hauled into Graeme Souness's office..."John, as a club we are doing our best to connect with the local community and interact with our supporters. Why are you spoiling all the hard work the club is doing by refusing to give fans your autograph?"....The blank look on John's face would have been priceless.
John if indeed you did get any grief over this then I apologise wholeheartedly but it was fun being you albeit reluctantly for just a couple of minutes.
Who's Who? (Jaja might be a clue!)
